I’m blowing it…
I have/had a great opportunity right in front of my face…handed to me on a platter and I am basically blew it.
My mom gave me the gift of a personal trainer prior to her passing. I went 3 days a week and was eating really well… right up until 12/05/2011… the day my mom died. I stopped eating for a while, barely slept. Didn’t hit the gym for a week.
I started going back to the gym but kept finding excuses to not go…work, not feeling well etc. I got to the point where my drive and motivation was gone. I wasn’t eating very well. I hate cooking. Now… I have gained back most of what I lost. I am having issues with my blood pressure and my body is just pissed off at me right now.
I’m an idiot!
I have to get this under control…I have to get this under control. I HAVE TO GET THIS UNDER CONTROL!!!! If I don’t… I’m dead. I know I’m dead. When my mom passed she had me there. Good or bad that I had to witness my mom passing I feel that it is better than me coming over and her being there all day. I think that would have destroyed me inside more…at least I know I was there and tried to save her.
I’m alone though. If I die in my house… nothing. Nobody will be there. Nobody is going to come over for at least a few weeks and that will only be because they suddenly noticed I didn’t post on facebook or haven’t returned texts or calls. This sucks! This sucks bad! I need to get control of things quick…
by Jason on May 17, 2012
in General
Some backstory here…
In 1996 I was showing my Nissan show truck “Basic Instinct” at Texas Heat Wave in Austin, TX. Walking down the rows of vehicles I came across Brian Jendro’s 1996 Isuzu Hombre that was body dropped…first one ever. My friend Daniel made the comment that it was a cool truck and he wouldn’t mind having one… I followed up with “I like it…I’m going to buy one Monday.” That night I got back to my hotel and called my mom asking her to find Isuzu dealers near the house. That Monday night I drove home in a brand new standard cab Isuzu Hombre. It was July of 1996.
By December of 1996 I had been hit a couple of times in the truck and eventually was rear ended on the highway by a distracted driver (girl using her phone and not looking at the traffic stopped in front of her). This accident launched me off the road and wrapped the truck around a pole… I lived but the truck was totalled.
After the new year I had purchased my 1997 Isuzu Hombre Extended Cab. It had a V6 and was one of the first on the streets that was lowered etc.
The truck was eventually lowered traditionally and had wheels added. I then had my friend go in and bag the truck after I had to fix the gas tank one too many times from bashing holes in it from being too low. Then… tragedy…
In August of 1998 I went to Indianapolis for Indy Truck Bash and my buddy Brett rolled along with me. On the way there the rear end shifted and we had to get it fixed. The 4 link had come loose so it needed some adjusting. I rolled it for the rest of the weekend at the show… then on the way home the driveshaft snapped and all went to hell from there.
The truck got towed home and sat for a while, went to a few shops and get a body drop and the frame was smoothed and molded. Parts for stolen off of it and everything bad that could happen did.
To cut to the chase… my friend Buster called me last night and said that we needed to make a decision on the truck. We both went over what was wrong with it, what it would take to fix it and if it was worth it in the end. I decided to let it die. 14 years of my life and thousands of dollars wasted… and the truck is going to the crusher. Almost nothing is salvagable… almost every square inch of the truck needs to be either replaced or redone because of crappy work done before.
Evil Hombre is no more… I am kinda sad about this and kinda happy too. I had a lot of trouble sleeping last night because of this. But… all things do happen for a reason. Bigger and better things are on the horizon.
by Jason on May 16, 2012
in General
Over the last 5 months my habits changed dramatically… from eating habits, not going outside much except to go to work or the the gym periodically, using my computer less and using the iPad more, less interaction with people… I need to change these habits.
This Friday I start one of the biggest projects so far this year… clearing out the house and garage. Not totally empty… but really starting to get things moved around, donated and organized etc. Starting in the garage I am going to go through years of boxes, supplies, tools, gardening stuff… just a bunch of junk. Time to clean it out and get rid of some stuff.
Aside from a need to do this I also want to build an area up to work on my RC Truck. I am either going to put a work area in the garage for it or somewhere in the house. Question is… which is better? Only drawback to inside the house is the cat… the cat can knock stuff around etc. If I put it in one of the bedrooms… I can always close the door… but then I lose a spare bedroom for guests. I don’t have many guests… so this could still work out.
I’m mixed on my feelings about this only because of the fact that the only other bedroom available was my moms. Do I want to go in and change it up? Can I handle working in there knowing I watched per pass away in that room? I can always move stuff around in my office and relocate things into the other bedroom… turn that room into my office/workspace. That almost feels like a better idea to me at this point. Again… cat is the issue. haha
I have time to figure it out. I just think some change is in order. Not to forget the past of anything… but to start making new memories. I think it would be healthier for me.